Healing A Discouraged Heart

Help Lord! I'm Struggling To Hold On

2012-02-09T18:00:00.000Z

If you have felt this way or are feeling like that now, I have a suggestion: Let Go!

Sounds easy enough but can be one of the hardest things for any of us to do. I believe one of the reasons is our fear of the consequence. But consider this: If you were to let go, what would happen? You fall into the capable hands of God. So there you are wanting to hold on and be heroic whereas God is just waiting for you to let go of the very thing you are clinging on to (which can't save you, by the way, because you can't save yourself) and fall right into His open arms. I tell you, when the storms of life come, I can think of no better place to be. So do yourself a favour and simply let go.

Can Dead Bone Really Live?

2012-01-26T18:00:00.000Z

Here you are facing a dire situation and someone bounces along with irritating joy, slaps your back and says, “Cheer up, things will get better”. Apart from wanting to hit them (I'm being honest), you find yourself looking at your situation again wondering if things could get better. Because, lets face it, it will take nothing short of a miracle.

My question to you is this: If it will take nothing short of a miracle, why not hope and pray for one? If there is one thing I am convinced of is the fact that miracles do happen. By the way, I'm not just referring to the stories in the Bible. They happen everyday.

So I guess the first hurdle you need to overcome is whether you believe that dead bones can live again (Ezekiel 37). If you can, you are already on your way to developing extraordinary hope even when faced with what seems to be a hopeless situation. Is God able to turn your situation around? Absolutely!

When faced with doubtful moments of my own, I ask myself the question the Lord asked Abraham, “Is anything too hard for the Lord?” (Genesis 18:14, NLT). Once I get my head and heart around that fact, I declare game on! I know for a fact that God is still in the business of performing miracles. Just trust God and I believe you will see the Lords goodness in the land of the living (Psalm 27:13). So wait patiently on God and He will renew your strength whilst waiting for your miraculous moment.

Stop Throwing A Tantrum!

2012-01-12T17:55:00.000Z

OK, you did not get what you wanted. Now you throw your toys (prayer, bible study, etc) out of the pram and you give God the silent treatment. After all, He owes you because you prayed, fasted, laid before the Lord, rolled around, jumped, clapped, hollered, right?

As adults, when we see kids throw tantrums, we frown at them because of their immaturity. Could this same immaturity be said of you? The fact is that many of us just need to grow up in God. If you have prayed in faith, God has promised always to hear us when we call. So why the tantrum? Instead, keep standing in faith and get on with things. He will make all things beautiful in its time (Ecclesiastes 3:11). That’s our assurance.

So, rather than throw a wobbly, thank Him instead. After all, He is GOD!

Give Yourself A Break!

2011-12-22T19:00:00.002Z

In my Pilates classes, I noticed the class instructor always gives us the option of three levels of intensities to choose from. There was always an easy, medium or hard option and we were to choose the right level for us.

I always pondered on the purpose of this until the penny finally dropped: We are all at different places (i.e. seasons) in our lives which has a direct impact on our abilities. Some in the class are young whilst others are well beyond the age of retirement. Whilst we have seemingly fit individuals, we also have people struggling with various ailments (e.g. muscular or joint pain/problems). There are also expectant mums at various stages of their pregnancy. And so, it becomes pertinent that the class accommodates all these varying needs – hence the 3 different levels.

Looking at life, we can draw some parallels from my Pilates class. At times we face life-changing situations and/or challenging times. Whilst some of us are coming out of a challenge, others are about to hit one or are facing it square in the face. Another way of looking at it is the different seasons we experience. Just like the seasons throughout the year, we also experience spring, summer, autumn and winter seasons in our lives too.

Bearing this in mind, isn’t it high time we recognise these changes and give ourselves a break? By this I mean adjusting our ‘levels of intensity’ depending on what we are facing or the season we are going through (e.g. sickness, bereavement, separation, failure, disappointment, promotion, child birth, marriage, aging, studying, etc). Can we indeed expect to go through life at the same pace all the time? The answer is No! By doing this, none of us need to give up and/or drop out of the race altogether. But by picking an appropriate pace suitable for where we are, we can maintain our momentum albeit at a different pace. For some of us this may mean standing still for a moment or taking baby steps whilst we let others leap on ahead. Doing this does not make us weak. Rather, I reckon it’s pure wisdom for living.

So why not do yourself a favour? Reflect on where you are right now. Do you need to increase or decrease your level of intensity? Only thou knowest!

Written by Gladys Famoriyo (Author, Healing A Discouraged Heart & Overcoming Emotional Baggage). Find our more about our events and resources at www.gladysf.com or call +44(0)870 750 1969.

You Prayed. You Hoped. You Waited. Now What? Part II

2011-12-08T19:00:00.002Z

Developing extraordinary hope in difficult times

In difficult times, many experience diminishing strength and hope especially when it seems God is taking His time in answering our prayers and/or we don’t get what we expect. In such times, we tend to feel abandoned, confused and disappointed. Deep within, a crisis of faith brews that throws up questions like, ‘Where is God?, Does He care? or Why is this happening to me?’. When care is not taken, we find ourselves stuck in one of the three phases of discouragement I highlight in my new book, Healing A Discouraged Heart: Getting Back On Track When Life Lets You Down (ISBN: 978-0-9562606-3-5), namely the ‘S.A.D.’, ‘Dormant’ and ‘Hopeful’ Phase. We cover up with our ‘religious’ masks; whilst the real state of our hearts betray us.

God Is Not The Problem!

It’s a common tendency to blame God when things don’t turn out the way we want. But I beg to differ. From my personal and professional experience, I believe the issue lies firmly with us. The fact is God has not changed nor has He abandoned His own. He is still in the business of answering prayers and always has a plan. One challenge we face is giving God the reigns of our lives so His will can be done. Though we pray ‘let Your will be done’, this is only when it suits us.

Another challenge we face is the spiritual junk (e.g. wrongful beliefs and incorrect teaching) we pick up along the way. For instance, one I hear a lot is the presupposition that bad things don’t happen to Christians. Hello! Reality check here. Glance through the Bible and you will see Jesus, Paul and many others living as suffering servants. I believe we have become out of balance (if not consumed) with ‘prosperity-type’ messages. The fact is life happens though God remains firmly by our side always (Isaiah 43:1-4). Get this warped and you are heading for trouble.

It’s Not About Getting What You Want

In the book, Healing A Discouraged Heart, I share stories of Christians facing challenges. One that always pulls my heartstrings is the case of Rachael who never thought that after fifteen years of marriage, rounds of IVF treatment, words of prophecy, prayers, fasting and much more, she would still be childless. Yet Rachael represents many Christians experiencing various forms of barrenness, fruitless efforts and failure. She, like many others, became discouraged after waiting on God. However, as you continue to read her story, you notice a turnaround in Rachael’s attitudes, beliefs and behaviours. In case you are wondering, it’s not because she became pregnant. Rather, it was the fact that she allowed God access into her heart. Instead of trying to make things happen, she handed over the reigns to God. This brought about a change in her heart even whilst her present situation persisted.

Getting Back On Track

Personally, one of the lessons I felt God teach me, which I share in Healing A Discouraged Heart, is to focus on the real state of my heart. So, below are some questions to ask yourself, to help move you forward like Rachael:

· Do I really trust God like I proclaim I do?

· What's my relationship/standing with God presently?

· What beliefs/principles am I standing on – Gods word or mans wisdom/formulas?

· Am I willing to let go and let God or do I have control issues I need to work on?

· Who’s running the show - my mind or the Holy Spirit?

· Have I become fixated on the facts of my situation rather than on God?

· Do I need to confront my ‘what ifs’ i.e. issues with fear? (Will God come through?)

· Do I only experience joy and peace when I get what I want from God and throw a tantrum at other times? (A reflection of my maturity perhaps?)

· How do I react towards God when He seems to be taking His time in coming through? (The silent treatment?)

· Are there other factors in my life making me prone to feeling down/discouraged (e.g. stress/burnout, sin, battle fatigue from previous trials, etc)?

These are just a few insightful nuggets worth reflecting on. Say the prayer David prayed in Psalm 119:29, ‘Keep me from lying to myself; give me the privilege of knowing your instructions.’ (NLT). Enlist Gods help so you can find your way back to a life of renewed hope, strength, peace and joy regardless of what you are going through.

Lastly, remember all trials have an expiry date. None last forever!

Written by Gladys Famoriyo (Author, Healing A Discouraged Heart & Overcoming Emotional Baggage). Find our more about our events and resources at www.gladysf.com or call +44(0)870 750 1969.

Consistency Is The Name Of The Game

2011-08-03T17:13:00.001+01:00

Recently, I took a break from my desk and looked outside my office window to get rid of mental cobwebs and refresh myself. I find the view of the meadow, nature, etc works wonders. Then something caught my attention in the distance - a modern wind turbine. I was intrigued because it kept ticking along though the air felt still and no wind could be felt. Yet, it kept going.

This reminded me of our efforts in life. At times, we may feel we are only making tiny strides. But in actual fact, over time, just like the wind turbine, our cumulative efforts mount up to a lot. And just when life seems to be grinding to a halt, our internal wind (i.e. God) keeps our propellers going.

So be encouraged especially during the times you feel your efforts are not yielding much or your life is not generating enough electricity to 'light' the world. The chances are your efforts are causing ‘sparks’. Your immediate circle of influence or community around you (i.e. friends, family, neighbours, colleagues, etc) are also being illuminated and enriched by your continuous movement (efforts).

So what am I trying to say? Keep going. Keep doing what you do. It may seem insignificant but it all adds up. Trust me, someone, somewhere is benefitting from it (including you). Moreover, your efforts will pay dividends both here on earth and for eternity. So don’t hang up your boots!

Kneeling Tall

2011-07-21T11:00:00.000+01:00

We tend to think we ought to be superhero like when adversity strikes. Many of us have preconceived ideas on how we should think and behave which, by the way, are easy to say when things are rosy. One strategy I have adopted is to endeavour to kneel (not necessarily stand) tall. By this I mean:

I give myself the permission to not have to physically stand when I am not able to – kneeling or other stances (e.g. lying on my face, sitting down, etc) is just as good. After all, it’s what's in my heart that counts. And this is what moves God.

It’s more important for me to stand tall ‘spiritually’ through my relationship with God. Trust me, it’s my closeness to God through prayer, studying the Bible, and praise/worship that will get me through. So there may be times I need to lay down all I ‘think’ I know to do and just focus on spending time with Father. For in His presence there is fullness of Joy (Psalm 16:11).

I may be on my ‘knees’ but you can bet your bottom dollar that my confidence is NOT shaken nor my reliance on God wavering. Rather, my hope continues to be renewed by spending time with my Father.

Why Does Waiting On God Take So Long?

2011-07-18T11:00:00.000+01:00

I wish I can tell you a simple, deep, spiritual answer. I too have pondered on this especially as I believe anything is possible with God. But when I feel the urge to pose this question heavenwards, my mind drifts to Ecclesiastes 3 which talks about a time for everything. I think verse 11 sums it up beautifully by saying,

“God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he's left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he's coming or going.” (The Message Bible)

This is our real challenge i.e. maintaining a stance of continued hope without seeing the details of the plan. But just because we can't see it does not mean nothing is happening. Just wait and see. God always has a plan.

Is Discouragement Wrong?

2011-07-15T11:00:00.000+01:00

Many of us see it as a sign of weakness or sin. Rather, I like to see it as a sign of our humanness. Our journeys in life can take us through sharp or bumpy turns that can make those who consider themselves spiritually ‘strong’ experience discouragement.

Just ask Elijah, Job, David and Jeremiah who were bitten by this bug. Yet, I won't consider them as weak or sinning at the time (based on studying their lives and how God interacted with them at such times). They merely reacted to their situations as any human would.

However, when facing difficult, uncertain or challenging moment, I would encourage you to tap into another aspect of your nature. Yeah, we are human quite alright but we are made in Gods own image. And as a result, deep within us lies a well which we can tap into to draw strength for such times. This well becomes the source of our strength and keeps us going as we make our way through the valley of shadows of death.

So if you are feeling discouraged, maybe you need to dig deeper to your real source of strength…because that’s the only thing that will get you through to the other side.

Stay In The Race - Excerpt from Healing A Discouraged Heart: Getting Back On Track When Life Lets You Down

2011-07-12T16:14:00.000+01:00

‘Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the life of faith, let us strip off every weight that slows us down, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And let us run with endurance the race God has set before us.’ - Hebrews 12:1, NLT

Whenever I read this scripture, I immediately picture myself running a race with crowds cheering me on. When my legs start to get tired and as I start to slow down, I look across and see some of my Biblical heroes cheering me on.

I picture Paul telling me to not faint or get weary of doing good (Galatians 6:9). I can hear David telling me to encourage myself in the Lord (I Samuel 30:6). Nehemiah reminds me of the fact that the Joy of the Lord is my strength (Nehemiah 8:10). Esther encourages me with the fact that I was born for such a time as this (Esther 4:14). Joseph tells me that God will turn every evil plan to my good (Genesis 50:20). Elisha will shout across that things will be different this time tomorrow (2 Kings 7:1). The Shunammite woman will hold up a placard with ‘It is well’ written on it (2 Kings 4). When I look at the race ahead of me and feel I cannot run it, Jeremiah will remind me of the fact that nothing is impossible with God because nothing is too hard for Him (Jeremiah 32:17). And when I stumble and fall, Jesus will tell me to ‘Talitha, cumi,’ which means, ‘Little girl, I say to you, arise.’ (Mark 5:41). With all this encouragement, I muster the strength to get to my feet and keep going.

And so, my heroes have become my personal cheerleading team – encouraging me along. They can be yours too. I take comfort knowing that others have gone before me and walked in the same path I now must take (life). That is why reading the scriptures is so important to keeping our joy, hope and strength. So I encourage you also to find heroes of your own. Read their stories and find out how they mustered strength to keep going even when it was against all odds. With such cheerleaders you will be encouraged every step of the way.

All Will Be Well

2011-06-20T16:04:00.001+01:00

During difficult times, it’s great to have people tell us ‘All will be well’ or such. However, if the truth be told, many of us just want the moment of difficulty to end. Therefore, receiving encouraging words can be challenging when you are in the thick of it. I could think of some occasions in my life I just did not want to hear it. I know this moment will pass but why not now?

When I get over myself and reflect on “all will be well" which is a quote from the Bible (Isaiah 3:10), then it starts to sink into my heart and the penny drops. It serves as a reminder when I can't see beyond my present hurts and disappointments. And you know what? It encourages my heart, though my present realities fight to get my attention.

So maybe you need to take a moment to reflect on the encouraging words that come your way. They can come through a person, song, book, poem, article, etc (I believe God uses many avenues to uplift us out of the pits of discouragement). Maybe you need to take note. And when you find something that encourages you, cling on to it with every little bit of hope you have left. Because that’s what going to get you through to the other side.

All Trials Have An Expiry Date

2011-06-17T10:57:00.000+01:00

Something I learnt on my journey was the fact that, just like food, all trials have an expiry date. By this I mean, one day, the situation you are facing will come to an end. So bear this in mind as you make you way through you day. It shall surely come to past.

You Prayed, Hoped, Waited...Now What?

2011-06-17T07:39:00.000+01:00

Is this where you are at? You have done all you know to do and it seems like God has gone on vacation and all you are getting is His voicemail to which you have left umpteen messages. So what's next?

In short, you keep standing and do everything within your power to keep doing so. At times, you may struggle with this especially when you seem to be weighed down by your burdens. Notwithstanding, keep standing. A strategy that works for me is to change my focus. By this I don't mean giving up or loosing faith. Rather, I try to step back and look at the bigger picture - one we tend to loose sight of when we are in the thick of it. I reflect on stuff like:

What God might be trying to accomplish in and through me (God always has a plan!)
What God expects from me at this time (e.g. being still, trust Him more, let go and let God).
The lessons I might need to learn from this situation (there is always something to learn).
The experiences of others especially people in the bible (reminds me of how God looks after His own).
The great things God has done for me in the past (proof that He has not abandoned me)

So what can you reflect on today? Remember, what you choose to focus on will dominate your mind. So watch out